I have like 800 books. That doesn’t feel like as much of an accomplishment as I thought it would, years ago when the thought first occurred to me that my library could get so big. I even have a bucket list item that lists 1000 books. Maybe I’ll feel differently then. Or maybe I’ll feel differently when I’m in a better place in my life. But right now, most of them in boxes & a good 20 unread… Nope. Can’t say as it feels like much. Most of everything I own in boxes, & a failure in so many things… Nope. I don’t feel good about it. I was supposed to be one of those people who always succeeds. I’m not sure what happened or how to fix it, but for once I don’t think buying more books will help.
Okay, so I haven’t posted anything for a while now but whatever. I just want to take this opportunity to say something and then we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled program. This last year has been terrible. Like “holy crap” terrible. I realize this has nothing to do with my mission statement but I feel the need to say this and then we can get back to that, although I can’t promise the occasional deviation or random comments. And I believe that everything I want to say can be summed up best as “What the hell Universe? Did I make you mad? What could I possibly have done to make you that angry? And what can I do to make it up to you? Cuz I’ll do it. I am not joking.” This has been a terrible, terrible year and I’m trying really hard to believe that the next twelve months will be better and only marginally succeeding. A serious course correction will be called for I think and it’s gonna be the hard way. The whole thing is making me pissy.